the universe laughs [angsty rant to follow]

Do you ever feel like the whole universe is saying, "You suck! You just suck and there's nothing you can do about it."
Yeah. I guess this will just be an angsty post about the problems I'm having. I'm hormonal. Let's just get that out there. I'll feel better tomorrow.
Tonight, I'd like to have a couple of drinks and go to bed. I can't even flipping mow the lawn right.
You know, when you are all stressed out about something, and then when that something happens, you think it will fix your stress, but then it just makes it worse? I'm feeling like that now.
I've been stressed lately. I'll admit it. I was already short on extra time because i helped with camp, and then all that stuff happened with my grandma, and I still don't feel like I'm over that even though I should be. And then there was that gun test, which was supposed to be recreational but it stressed me, and I felt better when it was all over. But i've been waiting for this "procedure" at the hospital for months, hoping it would give some answers to what's causing the pain I'm having. I've been to three specialists now. Had a surgery and physical therapy, and I'm still getting vague answers.
and, I might add, in the last year, I've been told I have THREE life-altering health issues, and all three times I've felt ill-informed and left completely alone with the information. Getting pretty sick of it. I don't want them to keep finding OTHER things that are wrong. I want them to fix this one problem before I have babies again.
So I'm discouraged tonight. It's the kind of thing people with health problems experience all the time. But I don't want to be one of "those" people. I just want to have a normal life and not worry about these stupid little things that keep popping up.
That's all I have to say. Good night.