Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Pinterest and the Devil (yes, they might actually be one in the same).

I'm just going to say it. I hate pinterest with a passion and I don't even use it. I just know all about all of the great ideas in the whole world that I will NEVER have energy or desire to complete.It seems like wherever I go now, people have to tell about the thing they just did or saw on Pintrest. Or what they accomplished and posted to pinterest.
It's a little overwhelming when you know the people around you in your "peer group" are doing these amazing things. Because it's not like it's just one remarkable thing they do. It's those kinds of people who do ALL of the remarkable things, and leave the rest of us boring plain old vanillas with no accomplishments. No, I do not have a clean house. (Actually it is clean, just not tidy or organized). No, I do not plan out a weeks worth of meals from delicious recipes that are "SO EASY" and list forty ingredients and take all day to make. No I don't create beautiful decorations in my home out of recycled trash my neighbor was just getting rid of, or plant flowers in cute old pottery or even plant flowers at all. And the ones I do plant die. No, I do not create elaborate lesson plans to teach my kids preschool and kindergarten. Or schedule great events for them all wrapped around whatever theme we're learning about. I don't schedule things at all. No, I don't keep on top of... anything. No, I don't put together great trendy outfits with clothes I bought on consignment (although I do buy my clothes on consignment). No, I don't sew. No, I don't crochet or knit. No, I don't can or make jelly or freeze meals ahead of time. No, I haven't painted any of the rooms in my house since we moved in. No, I haven't put up little adorable picture frames with pictures of my kids from infancy on. No, I don't have little baskets that I trimmed with ribbon or fabric to store their toys in. No, I don't restore furniture to save money. No, I don't watch the ads for coupons or combine store coupons with manufacturer's coupons and store deals to get hotdogs for 1 cent. No, I don't. No I don't, No I don't. And I don't even WANT to.
So I have no idea why I feel so inadequate that I don't and can't. Maybe I need to stop even listening to women when they talk about their great ideas. Maybe I should just stop talking to women at all. Maybe I'll move out to the woods and live in a camper and for fun we can go hiking and canoeing and hunting. And we'll have horses and goats too. I think that would be a lot more fulfilling.
And while I'm at it, I'll stop shopping at craft stores and department stores and start buying all of my things at Farm and Fleet.Where I mostly will encounter farmers wives and crusty old men who don't care what I look like or how I decorate my house. How do you like that, Pinterest!

Really, I just need to find my identity in what I was made to be, and try to dwell on that instead. Maybe inspiration will hit once I'm done having all of my energy sucked out of me by kids. But if it doesn't, I just have to choose not to believe the devil (who tells me I'm not good enough for Pinterest) and believe what GOd says about me. I know He made and that means I'm cherished. And He's given me great gifts that happen to be different from everyone else's. So I should use those and stop feeling sorry for myself. Tomorrow.
And maybe I'll buy a canoe too. You never know.

Sunday, September 09, 2012

Wekk 25

For most people in most pregnancies, it's just another week. Not a milestone. Not a big deal. No appointments.
For me, it's full of anxiety and painful memories. On Thursday it will be over.
I haven't thought as much about that pregnancy this time around. But I went in to the dr. for my appointment, thankful that I could see him this week AND have an ultrasound (they couldn't see the spine last time). I consider it a mercy from God, to set me off into the worst week without wondering if something already went amuck.
It's been good, and the baby is still kicking. This is a very active baby, which is great. Whenever I wonder if things are OK, Baby Bats just kicks or moves. I love it!
Week 25, four days left. After that, I will breathe easier.