Wednesday, August 23, 2006

The Teflon Conspiracy

Many of you may remember my original rant on conspiracies. I've discovered a new one. Teflon. You've heard the old addage "if nothing sticks to teflon, how does teflon stick to the pan?" The true answers is, actually, it doesn't stick to the pan. If comes off in cancer-causing flakes after a few uses. Even if you're careful to only use nylon spatulas and wash it with the nifty little pampered chef scraper, you'll find that eventually, the resilliant material does not adhere.

The conspiracy? I think that they knew about this when they invnented the first teflon pan. But they decided to do it anyway. They even let the FDA or whoever it was discover the carsinigans present in the chemicals. That way, people who carefully guard their healthy lifestyles and watch for chipping materials will throw out their teflon pans and replace them. At least for a few years. More money for the Teflon-using companies. More money for doctors and drug companies. Everyone's happy.

Until I expose their evil exploits and everyone starts buying stainless steel and using steel wool to clean. It's really not that difficult. And think of all the benefits. You can worry about other, less obvious health risks instead of thinking about cancer every time you want a pan of stir-fry.

Critisms v. Christianity

I'm going to take a few minutes to vent my raw thoughts on some things I've been reading lately. Forgive me if they'[re incoherant or disagreeable (I expect they might be disagreed with). Here's what I've been noticing in blogs and conversations from people in the gen-x and whatever generation I am in: We're bored with church so we feel the need to critisize it.

I've heard a lot of cynical remarks about the American church and how materialistic, self-centered, unfocused, etc it is. These arguments range from blaming "relevance" and "emergent" to embracing the postmodern mindset and everything in between. I especially get annoyed when I hear people picking at the American church in general... as if it can be distinguished as worse than the African churches that preach the prosperity gospel, or the sparse European churches filled with folks who go out of obligation. Or Soviet churches that still apply communistic principles (corruption) to the way their church operates. Or the Asian churches that are so isolated that the pastors have to come up with their own theology which may or may not be heretical. Sheesh. What are you complaining abbout? At least in America you can find another church... or turn on the radio and listen to a credible preacher.

While it's necessary to evaluate our standing and operations, I'm not certain critisizing it will do much to help. And comparing it to other countries? That's the stupidest thing I've heard. I get sooooo angry when I read or listen to people whining about how pathetic the American church is when nearly every other country in the world is filled with pagan religions, persecution, political corruption, and misguided docterine.

Don't sit around analyzing society and how it's affecting the Church and whining about how no one understands. DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Start serving Jesus. I think that when we stop thinking about everything that's wrong and trying to fix it in our philisophical discussions, and start worshipping Christ and working out His principles, there is a shift in perspective that would do everyone good. But maybe I'm naieve. I do have a really good church. And I did do the whole Christian college thing, where everyone is so satisfied and comfortable with their faith that they actually become dissatisfied (I know it's paradoxal, but it's true). And I'm probably pretty conservative... But people really should try visiting a Russian or African church before complaining about the American ones.