Whole and Wholly Loved

To scarlet, my lovely friend with a broken heart:

you go home and cry yourself to sleep
aching from the loneliness
and all of those scars that keep burning, even when day is done.
You know how alone you are
even when you're with the people who know you best
and you hurt.

Then for once in your life you met someone
who saw past the outside
into your soul, knew your true beauty came from within
rather than just the painted smile and intellectual eyes
you felt the connection
because he was the only one
who really knew all of you
but let you be OK there anyway
and didn't mind the mess.
He valued you for all of you
not just pieces or parts of the whole.
but saying goodbye is all you can do
when reality hits home.
and there you are
picking up the pieces
painting your masks
wishing that for once it would have worked.
you mourn losing him
when you never had him
and what you really miss is who he made you be
and what he saw in you that no one else could.

The loneliness consumes you
in the darkness of day
and you chase shadows of what's real
because it's all you think you deserve
but the secret of love is uncovered with patience
and some day
there will be someone who sees all of you
and likes what he sees
the mosaic of heartache and strength and loveliness and longing
and maybe then you can take off the mask
and be the beautiful you
with all of the creativity and depth you were meant to show.
but for now, you have to hold on to the one who couldn't have you
because it's the only glimpse you really have
and that's the shame of these broken lives
missing pieces of their heart
you shouldn't be one.
You should be whole and wholly loved.