The Woj

so today, because I was wearing slippers without socks, my mind wandered back to high school and through some strange rabbit trails. I'm going to share them with you because I think they're funny.

You know the band Leonard Skinnerd? They named themselves after a teacher in their high school who was notorious for enforcing the "no long hair" policy in the 70's (note: I do not listen to Leonard SKinnerd and I am not a fan, except for their name). I think it's hilarious that they did that. I've always thought about what high school teacher I'd name a band after if I were in their position.

There was Bernhard, famous for yelling at us, "If you put your head down and fall asleep in my class, it's like saying 'Screw YOU Mrs. Bernhard! I have my own agenda!" I think that quote was directed at me, even though I actually wasn't asleep as she supposed. So the agenda came from that, and me and my friends started a list of things to put on our agenda, which included spreading sparkle-butt-syndrome, starting an Amish college with a Peaceful Amish farmer mascot, and various other ridiculously unrealistic things.

There was also Kriegal. She filled in for our english teacher sophomore year. She had us do trust falls in our speech class. Enough said. (Frizzy eighties hair, pink eye shadow, too relational, thought my friend Kim was a druggie.)

My favorite character out of high school, though, who would definitely be first choice for a band name (of course, behind "my own agenda") is The Woj. I mean, his name was actually Wojotowitz, (wa-toe-its), but for obvious reasons, we called him The Woj. And wouldn't that be a good band name? He was one of those emotional teachers who wanted everyone to talk about their feelings and tell stories about their lives in class. It was AP English, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been able to pass any test with the information I acquired (or rather, didn't) that year. (Granted, I did spend about half of it out studying for academic decathlon with the rest of my team). i was privileged enough to have him as the coach for Academic Decathlon that year. It was because I was in his class that he asked me on the team, anyway. It was fun. But he was weird. Not gonna lie. He was a diabetic smoker who I think was a little on the hypochondriac side as well. He hung out at a bar called Leonardo's down the road, and there was a rumor that he was gay. I never made a conclusion either way, and didn't care either (although he did have the lisp and he liked to hold his ssssses out a little longer than necessary).
I once spent a half hour in his hotel room practicing my speech for ac-dec. I think he smoked three packs of cigs in that time. Wojo always scratched the chalkboard by accident when he tried to write stuff, and he started most classes off with making us write in journals about things and discussing it in class. There were a few funny moments from class, but I won't mention them for time sake. If you're really excited to hear those stories, you could just email me or something.
My brother said he was really talented with theater things. He was in charge of all of the smart kids at school and assemblies and national honor society. He was also one of the counselors. He once got me into an art class without having taken the prerequisite because he had the power to, and he wanted me to not have biology homework so I could study for ac-dec more. Because he was cool like that.
He also wore sandals year-round, even though he had somewhat gross-looking toes. Which is what brought on this whole stream-of-conscious that you are now reading. Because it started with me wearing no socks in my loafers. Which he also did.

I don't know if he's still at my high school. I think he is, still coaching ac-dec too (and, for the record, the year I participated was the first time in 10 years that we didn't make it to nationals... But it wasn't my fault, promise). The thing is, I liked him. He was personable and sarcastic, and I think he actually knew how smart I was, which didn't happen too often. He seemed to know me pretty well, even though I never offered any information about myself and I wasn't the kind of kid the teachers sat around in the lounge talking about. So that's why I'd name my band "The Woj". Because, eccentricities aside, he was a pretty good teacher (unlike the aforementioned ones).

Hopefully no one does a google search for any of these names! I might get myself in trouble. :)