Mother's Day

Last year, mother's day ended up being one of the hardest days I'd faced since Grace had died. There was a child dedication at church. Her due date had just passed, and several friends I knew were having their own babies. All of the mom crap they played at church topped it all of, and I left the service crying really hard. I threw myself into the arms of the first person who offered them, my mom's and mother-in-law's good friend Lori. I'm glad she was there, because I didn't look as ridiculous with someone holding me.
So this year I worried about what the day would be like. Grief emotions sneak up on you out of nowhere, sometimes, and sometimes you don't even realize where they're coming from or why you're having them until afterwards. Last week I felt depressed a lot, and I think it might have been because it was just so close to Grace's due date. And, while I have plenty of things to distract me and plenty of things to rejoice over, sometimes that lingering loneliness and pain creep up.
Today, being Mother's Day, I worried a lot beforehand. But it turned out to be just fine. My brother and sister-in-law just got back from a year and a half in Asia (they left the day Grace died, actually). My sister's home from college. And my mom is freaking awesome. Daniel played guitar for church, and there wasn't a sappy mom video or anything that sappy except two songs I didn't really listen to. Then Daniel got out of his obligations for the evening and my mom watched the kids, and we went to Star Trek (after eating lunch with my family).
Then we came home and relaxed in my messy house and I just feel good. Thank you, Jesus.