Complaining

I have a bone to pick with you. Yes, you!
You should leave comments on my blog to show your feelings about what I've written. Stop being so creepy and pretending like you don't read it when you do. We call that "internet stalking" and, it's annoying.

GRRRRR

For all of the advances in technology, I still can't find a poem I wrote a few years ago! I can't remember enough of the wording to search effectively for it, but I REALLY WANT IT. I can't find the notebook I wrote it in, and I searched through the archives on my xanga account and didn't find it (although I know I posted it). AUGH!

[edit]
I've found it! I was looking in the wrong place! It was in THIS blog instead of the other one (at the time I was still using both blogs).
And, as a happy addition, I discovered that I really enjoy reading things I wrote in the blog. You should read some of my older posts. They were a lot better back then.

Garage Sales

Before spring started, I needed some clothes for Arlene and Jayna. For $25 I went to Wal-mart and got them matching dresses, a pair of booties, one set of pajamas and some socks.
Today I spent about $25 and bought:
a toy piano
floor gym for Jayna with hanging toys intact
magnetic doll house book
doll sized pack-n-play
a sweater, skirt, 2 pairs of pants and 3 sets of pajamas for Arlene
an outdoor toddler play house thing
two shirts for myself
mosquito net to go over a carseat
toy race car set

I'm not too proud to use other peoples' old stuff. I love garage sales.

Are you a Trekkie?

Yesterday my family had to endure a short rant from me about why you can't compare Star Trek to Star Wars. It's like comparing Monster cookies to monster cars. Just because they have the same word in them and fall into the general "sci-fi" genre, does not mean they are, in any way comparable. They just aren't. And that's another story.
If I had to pick one, anyone who knows me would know, I'd definitely pick star Trek though. I don't really get Star Wars. I really just don't get it. I grew up watching the movies and I even saw Episode One in the theater. It made no sense to me.
Star Trek, I get. And I like it. Maybe I've never publicly admitted that. But I grew up on Star Trek. My dad and I used to watch the Next Generation together. And, when the original series made a daytime debut, my brothers and I watched. I saw the pilot of "Voyager" and got hooked. (Although I never seemed to get first rights on picking what we watched on television, so I hardly got to follow any series that I wanted to except for Doctor Quin, but that's just another embarrassing story).
With all of the different series showing and all of the family members interested in their developments, though, I have always had a pretty good grasp on what happens in Star Trek. I know which aliens are which and who's good and bad, and where Captain Kirk is from (i've been there) and I know a little history about each major character. Apparently that's more than most people know.
Apparently I might fall into the category of "trekkie". But I have never worn a Star Trek costume. And I've never gone to a festival or read any fan literature--oh, wait, I think I did read one novel, but it was based on the show. So, I don't know. If Trekkies could be rated on a scale of 1-10, 1 being not very interested and 10 being a complete geek, I'd probably be a 5. There you have it. I'm a little bit of a geek. but you probably already knew that. Where would you stand on the Trekkie scale? I'm interested to know.

Mother's Day

Last year, mother's day ended up being one of the hardest days I'd faced since Grace had died. There was a child dedication at church. Her due date had just passed, and several friends I knew were having their own babies. All of the mom crap they played at church topped it all of, and I left the service crying really hard. I threw myself into the arms of the first person who offered them, my mom's and mother-in-law's good friend Lori. I'm glad she was there, because I didn't look as ridiculous with someone holding me.
So this year I worried about what the day would be like. Grief emotions sneak up on you out of nowhere, sometimes, and sometimes you don't even realize where they're coming from or why you're having them until afterwards. Last week I felt depressed a lot, and I think it might have been because it was just so close to Grace's due date. And, while I have plenty of things to distract me and plenty of things to rejoice over, sometimes that lingering loneliness and pain creep up.
Today, being Mother's Day, I worried a lot beforehand. But it turned out to be just fine. My brother and sister-in-law just got back from a year and a half in Asia (they left the day Grace died, actually). My sister's home from college. And my mom is freaking awesome. Daniel played guitar for church, and there wasn't a sappy mom video or anything that sappy except two songs I didn't really listen to. Then Daniel got out of his obligations for the evening and my mom watched the kids, and we went to Star Trek (after eating lunch with my family).
Then we came home and relaxed in my messy house and I just feel good. Thank you, Jesus.