Posting

I feel like writing a long post about all of the things that have been on my mind lately... but that's what a journal's for, I suppose. I have been thinking about societal expectations and the Church, and being too comfortable. Today I read in Luke chapter 7 the account of the sinful woman anointing Jesus' feet. When Jesus says, "Therefore, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. but to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little", I felt like it was talking about me. The one who loves little. Not that I'm not sinful, and not that I'm not in constant need of God's grace and forgiveness... but I don't think I've experienced it like some have. And I don't know that I ever will experience it in some way. Because I don't really know what it's like to be without God. Certainly there are times when I feel like He isn't listening and isn't there, but I always know He is.
And lately I feel like I love little. I suppose there are ways to change that. And I don't think that those who grow up knowing Christ can't experience the same depth of love that someone who got saved from sex, drugs and alcohol does. But I wonder how I can get from loving little to knowing that intense love and experiencing... more.