My friend, Christy Miller

When I was a kid, like 4th through 8th grade, I read about every Christian YA series available at the local library. I was at that age when you can read and absorb information at ridiculously fast speeds, and I didn't have a social life. The combination yielded copious reading time. Hundreds and hundreds of books. Maybe even a thousand.
There were countless ones I loved, and if you wanted I would give you a list of them. But, among my favorite were books by Bill Myers. Then, as I got older, I discovered these girly-ish books by Robin Gunn called The Christy Miller Series. I think maybe my BFF bethany told me about them, but however I ran across them, I was in love with the first book. Probably because it involved Hawaii and I've always had this thing about surfing and Hawaii. Don't ask.
Anyway, I read all of those books and I read them again. As an adult, I purchased them and read them again. Why? They're actually kind of cheesy. Christy's world is kind of idealistic, a little picture perfect, even though she faces real-life problems that are realistic. But there's just something special about those books. You feel like you know Christy, like she's your friend.
Really, she was a lot like my real best friend Bethany. And I'm a lot like Christy's fictional best friend, Katie. So maybe that was partly why I loved them.
The thing I really loved as a love-sick pre-teen, was the romance part of the books. It wasn't really over the top. It wasn't even totally the focus of the stories. But there's this guy. Todd. OK, so he's pretty much everyone's perfect dream of a guy. Unrealistically. But there's something endaring about both of them and the way their friendship develops into love. It takes its time. It's focused on friendship. Even though Christy's full of dreams and hopes, she and Todd are careful and patient, and refreshingly un-dramatic about their feelings. You have to read it to understand. It's kind of Anne Shirley/Gilbert Blythe like.
I recently picked up the compilation series of the books and last night I treated myself to one of them. Todd's away on a surfing competition and no one's heard from him for a long time, so Christy sends him a little card with the Bible verse Philippians 1:5-7 in it. The "confident that he who began a good work in you is faithful to complete it... I pray for you... I hold you in my heart." Then, six weeks later, Christy finally gets a response. On a coconut, mailed from Hawaii. Todd wrote Phil 1:9 on it and said, "I hold you in my heart too".
How's that for romance? Pretty great.
Anyway, the point of all that is just to say how influential those books were in my life. I wanted what Todd and Christy had because I could see it meant more than all of the other quick dating relationships going on around me (And Christy tries those too, of course). Some how, when you read all of them, you see the the way Christy is guarding her heart for her future husband. She writes letters to him and keeps them in a little box and then she prays about him even though she doesn't know who he is. It doesn't sound as good when I write it out, but it's cool in the book.

And it changed me. I'm thankful for Christy Miller because she introduced me to the idea of friendationship (a phrase coined by my youth pastor later). And because of Christy Miller I didn't want to spend time investing in the wrong people. Because of Todd, I felt like I could hold out for a great guy.
Reading in general made me want to be a writer. But reading these books by Robin Jones Gunn made me realize that fictional stories can have transcendent meaning. That you can learn just as much from characters as you can from real people. And I for one am thankful that I learned from Christy's mistakes rather than making them myself. ;) (And, for the record, my husband is WAY better than Todd. He was in high school and he still is. Except he doesn't surf. Although he would be able to if we lived anywhere near an ocean because he's one of those people who can do anything he tries. Tangent over.)
Eventually Robin Jones Gunn wrote "Christy and Todd, the college years" and finished off the three-book series with their wedding. Now, the best news I've heard in a long time, she's written and is writing the newest installment: Christy and Todd, the married years. I can't wait to read them!
Also I can't wait to have my kids read the Christy Miller series as they get older. Now it might be a little outdated... the original ones I read had tapes, VHS, roller skating, and jean skirts. But hey, truth is truth. And Christy is timeless.

The Darkness

It used to frighten me to drive home from my boyfriend's house on the dark nights. He lived about five miles away from any sort of civilization. Getting home required four miles of gravel roads, passing three farms and a graveyard, along with these two creepy lights shining from the gates of this house that was tucked away where you couldn't see. I don't know why those lights always bugged me, sitting there on the road like eyes in the darkness, waiting for me to pass. They never moved but it felt like they did. It felt like they followed me.
I wasn't the kind of person who thought about the dark much back then. But driving in it had this horrific effect. Now I live on the same road my boyfriend (who I married) grew up on, one house down, one house further away from the darkness.
And when we first moved, a sense of dread would come over me every time I had to crawl that car over the hills at night, through the cornfields with the animals and combines lurking somewhere across the vast unknown.
That's what unnerving about the darkness. It's the unknown. There are things you could see in the daylight that disappear into the shadows after the sun sets, and suddenly you're left guessing about everyday things.

I used to be afraid of the unknown things, too. I used to turn over carpets and open closet doors and shake out old suitcases trying to get answers to what had been hidden. I used to think there had to be answers to everything. And I used to die inside a little bit every time I realized again that sometimes there aren't answers. Sometimes you can't see what's ahead, and sometimes you just have to walk that way anyway.
So faith comes out in there, somewhere, I guess. And maybe that's all that's changed. Now that I'm 32 I don't fear the unknown as much. I just pull it in and embrace it. Yes, it's unsettling. And it's a fearsome thing to understand that darkness is a necessary part of every single life.
But so many things happen in the darkness that actually become spun and woven into beautiful things. Like chickens laying eggs, the world being set into motion, the seeds growing underground. The owl's lonely hoot, the crickets' song, the fireflies winking. The womb. Darkness all around, yet something being created. Something unknown, something unseen. Something wonderful.
I guess getting older has made me see all the things I fear don't always become what I feared they would. And I guess it's helped me see that God--who works in unspoken nights, who never sleeps, who knows all and sees all--does not want me to fear, but to trust.
So now I find there's this kind of wonder in driving in the dark. I head out of the city, away from the glare, and over my shoulder I see all of the things I knew behind me in the dim rear-view mirror. And ahead, the stillness of night. The fireflies, the owls, the beauty of quiet. And me, open heart, trusting the God who works His best in the dark.

Pray

If you know me, you know I'm not someone to jump onto bandwagons. You also know I don't really like reading the news. But last week the news became unavoidable. And I stopped being able to ignore the bigger problems with the world. With what's happening in Iraq and Ukraine, I have a sense that the world is on the cuff of a huge change. I can't really explain the feeling. I've never before wished that I knew more about end times prophesies, but I find myself wondering, trying to recollect vague memories of teachings I've heard about the kingdoms.
Anyway, facebook filled up with news about Iraq and I felt a big burden to do something. I knew my only recourse was prayer or giving money, and without knowing who to give money to or what to do, I turned to praying. I can't even explain how this was different than other things I've prayed for. I feel as if the whole world is relying on us to push back the evil, and we aren't doing our jobs because we're comfy here in our USA wealth and peace and we don't want to think about discomfort. I know that the balance of the kingdoms don't lie in our feeble prayers, but I also know that people who want God's kingdom to come don't sit in their couches, read a news article, and then go back to playing video games or watching the Big Bang Theory.
I know this requires prayers, fervrant, serious prayers. And what I've done so far has been so small. There really isn't much to do, except ask others to join me. We cannot stop praying for God's people who are suffering. We cannot stop praying for His peace to reign.
So I asked others to join me for a day of prayer and fasting (if they wanted to fast). I was surprised how fast my facebook event caught on. It spread and lots of people "attended", praying together with me. I think it was good. I hope it was.
I confess I didn't make my full twenty-four hour fast like I thought I would. I wasn't even feeling that hungry, but I was getting a serious headache, and I knew that I wouldn't have a chance to pray after seven because I'd be in a meeting, so I decided to eat three hours early. It was so easy to convince myself that was OK. And it was, but it makes me sad that I'm not a little bit more resolved about some things.
So here's one prayer I wrote for Iraq. Maybe it will inspire you to join me this week to continue to pray for peace.

Lord

There are so many things happening in the world right now, so many forces at work. So many evil men claiming power, oppressing the weak, killing others. I admit it is overwhelming and I sense my own limitations in every news story and every thought I have. I don’t know how to pray so often I just don’t. I feel helpless and useless and I listen to a lie that I’m insignificant.

I don’t know how it works. I don’t know that a soverign, unapproachable God who dwells outside of time and space, changes his course of action because of prayer. I don’t know that it does anything. But I do believe that you told me to ask you, so I ask. I believe that you promised where two or three were gathered in your name, you would be there with them. I believe that you are powerful and good and strong. I believe that you work things together for your good. And I believe that you are trustworthy. So I lay my heart before you.

I confess my disinterest as sin. I confess that I prefer to ignore the news and move through my day, living in comfort and peace that is a blessing from you. I choose to not pray or I pray half-heartedly. Lord, change my heart. Change me to care about the things you care about. Give me faith to believe that my prayers do make a difference, that they are worthy. And Lord, I ask you to hear my prayers. I acknowledge you’re sovereign, and that you hold all things in your hands.

So Father, I want to ask you today to be with those who are suffering because of their faith in you. They are numerous—countless. They are faceless to me, but Lord I know they exist and to you they are each so valuable. I know that they rely on the prayers of faithful believers who are dwelling in safety and peace. And I don’t often even care. But today I just need to ask that you’ll forgive my indifference, and hera my pleas. Save these children. Save your people from the hand of death and destruction. Give them your peace—the peace that comes from you and not from the world. Provide their needs, and speak your Word into their hearts. May they find unity with each other and solidarity as they suffer. May they demonstrate your love to their accusers and, through their actions, shine your light in the darkest of places. Father, renew their strength. Give them your power to speak your truth. Allow them to act in love in the face of oppression, giving to others as you have given to them.

I ask that you bring your peace to this land, stricken with war and darkness. Cover your people there. Cause those who don’t know you to cry out to you, the One True King. And bring your salvation to the middle east.

Amen.