School Busses and Snowball Fights. And the Dukes.

I grew up with brothers on both sides of me. One two years older, one two years younger. My sister came along when I was seven. So, much of my early childhood was spent playing with legos, guns, and cars. I didn't have barbies until I was about 10. I never owned strawberry Shortcake or Ponies or anything like that. I was at the mercy of my BFF for those things when I stayed at her house.
I was remembering today what we used to do. How my older brothre and I used to play the Dukes of Hazard outside. we'd roll down the windows in the Buick station wagon and hop in. We had a CB radio... I think my folks actually had a real one, but it might have just been fake. Anyway, it was real good fun. We also played the A-Team and probably MacGyver.
My younger brother was different. When i was home with him while my older brother was at school, we played with toys mostly. We loved our Little People, and that was probably what we played with most. We also had this Tupperware bus that came apart into a school, and it had a playground you assembled as well. We played with that a lot too.
I don't suppose that's super relevant. But I've been thinking of my brother, because he's been deployed and will be in Afghanistan for the next 9 months. I think that I was fortunate to grow up with brothers who actually liked me and hung out with me.
We played board games a lot, and still do. And there were the snowball fights. After Dave hit his growth spurt, he was six foot four. And every year, it got harder and harder to dupe him in the snowball world. He's a formidable foe.
Sometimes he calls me up when the snow just starts to melt and invites us all out for a snowball fight. I don't know why I bother, because we get clobbered.
This post doesn't have much of a point. Except that I'm going to miss him. He's always around. He drives an hour down from college to be there whenever family's in town, for birthdays or holidays or whenever he feels like it. And this year, there will be a lot of empty nights at the folk's house this year. Even though we all argue with each other, I think we're about as tightly-knit as it comes.
I just hope that those years of A-Team, Batman, and Cowboys pays off for him some way in the battle field.

I Spy with My Little Eye

A pumpkin pie!
Okay. Lameness. We grew a garden this year, and most of it, I really just screwed up. I accidentaly uprooted the peas right after they started producing; I didn't think the carrots so they were all grainy and dry; the spinach got eaten by rabbits and didn't taste that good anyway; the watermellon didn't even make it past sprouts. The corn got blown over by a bad storm, and I lifted it back up and propped them up with wires, but then the bugs got to the corn when it sprouted, and then the ones that made it got attacked by racoons and hail. So. The one thing that made it and overflowed in abundance were pumpkins. We also had asparagus but since it was the first year, we couldn't eat them. They just had to sprout and spread and then they'll grow back every year.
I don't even like pumpkins. We had a lot because I thought the transplants weren't going to make it, so I planted extra seeds in the mounds, and then they all made it and overgrew the entire garden.
Anyway, all that to say. Today was rainy and windy, so I thought "what a great day to use these pumpkins!" I brought in a couple, but after doing the work with two kids on one of the pumpkins, I decided that was enough work and not to do another. The seeds are slimy and I don't even like them but my husband does, so i kept them to roast later.
I baked the pumpkin and scooped out the pulp with the help of my three-year-old. Fiasco. Blended it, and then followed a recipe to make a pie.
I love pumpkin pie, but I don't love pumpkin. Dessert shouldn't taste like vegitables. I like the canned kind better. Ha.
But my husband likes it. The kids will like it too. So I guess it was worth it. but too stressful to really do it again. If anyone wants to try their own, I have two pumpkins left. :)

The AWOL Blogger

Augh! You know what drives me nuts? when people start a blog and don't finish it. Not a blog entry, but an actual blog. Like... you find this great reading and you really like it, and then it peters off and doesn't exist anymore. No goodbye. No referral to another site. Just no more posts. I hate it! Just complaining.
I had a friend who was writing this great story on his blog. Then he stopped and never finished it. Drives me nuts!

Getting off [my butt]

So. Lately I've been realizing how "unmotivated" I've been. And realizing how Christians re-label things that are actually sinful, making them sound less so. Such as the aforementioned example. Laziness? Yeah. That's me. I'm freaking tired. And I hate how messy my house is and the general chaos around me, but I'm lazy and don't fix it whenI have the chance, and then I live with it longer, and it actually becomes a bigger problem and more exhausting to deal with.
And I've noticed that it seeps into every area of my life, when I let it take over in one. Like, if I'm too lazy to clean my house, I'm also too lazy to go do my Bible study or play with my kids. And when I'm too lazy for things like that, I get exhausted rather than energized by those things, and then I'm even more lazy about everything else in life. I stop putting forth effort in anything, actually. And then I sit and take naps and really don't get a lot done.
So. Here's the thing. I've been kind of convicted actually. To stop calling it "unmotivated" or "tired" and just call it lazy. And, in calling it that, realize that it's wrong to be lazy. Not only is it stupid and makes me into a more worthless person, but it's actually something God doesn't like. This "word of wisdom" came to mind:

Proverbs 6
⁴ Allow no sleep to your eyes,
no slumber to your eyelids.

⁵ Free yourself, like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter,
like a bird from the snare of the fowler.

⁶ Go to the ant, you sluggard;
consider its ways and be wise!

⁷ It has no commander,
no overseer or ruler,

⁸ yet it stores its provisions in summer
and gathers its food at harvest.

⁹ How long will you lie there, you sluggard?
When will you get up from your sleep?

¹⁰ A little sleep, a little slumber,
a little folding of the hands to rest-

¹¹ and poverty will come on you like a bandit
and scarcity like an armed man.

Of course we don't see it like that in our society. But I think I want to. I want to be industrious and useful and make the most of my time. Not with things that are outside of my abilities and desires, but with daily things I need to do and with things I do enjoy.

So that's all I have on that for now. Just felt like sharing. Maybe I will share my steps of action next. Because I have some. And one includes getting off the computer more often. :)

Innocence and Dreams

This was supposed to be posted last week, but I got busy and then I was sick so I'm just now getting a chance to say it. Sorry. I know you all hang on my every word.

On Infant Loss Remembrance Day, you get to think about the baby or babies you lost. It's a bittersweet thing, because it's hard to remember those few precious moments, and yet, it seems as if so many things try to push those memories out of your mind as every year passes.
When you lose an adult child, or one who's lived a few years, you have so many more memories. So many more unfulfilled dreams and mementos left behind. And no one expects you to "forget" or "move on". They don't tell you "at least you have other kids" or "God just couldn't stand to be separated from him, he was so special" or stupid things like that (they think of other stupid things to say in that situation).
When you lose an infant, what's mostly lost is innocence and dreams. You lose the innocence of sweet thoughts and baby bundles and all of the cute things you do when you're pregnant. You lose the innocence of a good night's sleep, and of daydreaming. Because you know all of that can be gone in just a few moments.
And you lose your dreams. When a baby is born, he is just a big bundle of potential. You get to wonder about what they'll like, who they'll marry, what their personality will be, which parent they'll look like. And, as they grow, you see those thoughts and dreams and questions fulfilled.
When a baby dies, you don't even get a glimpse of those things. You just wish, and wish harder for it all to come back. For the chance to wonder and imagine.
The site I pulled that butterfly from is dedicated to remembrance of little ones. She makes butterflies in the sand, because the beautiful creatures are never around for very long before they float away into the sky and you never see them again.
But a baby never truly goes away. Don't ever look at a woman who lost a baby and think, "She's probably gotten over it by now." Once a mother, always a mother. Once a dream, always a dream.

Lap of Loser Luxury

So... I really don't have anything to say. Two weeks ago and several weeks prior to that, I went into "work widow" mode because my husband started having to put in late hours at work. He had a big demo for the big military folks and other customers and they weren't ready so it was rush rush rush. Now that let up for a couple of weeks, but I think it will pick up again here soon.
So, I've been filling my time doing what any self-respecting housewife would. Eating chocolate, gallivanting around the city on random errands that really could have waited, and, at night, watching seasons 5 and 6 of "Little House on the Prairie" and "Star Trek the next Generation" while indulging in frozen cookies from Schwans. Don't hate. It's just wholesome entertainment.
So.
Today I went to Half-Price books and picked up a stack of books. Two in a series I've been reading over the last few years, and then, because of my aforementioned television interests, 4 Little House on the Prairie books. I've wanted to have them around for my kids anyway, but I thought it would be fun to read them. Takes like a day. I haven't read any of them since 4th grade, I'm pretty sure, so I guess it wouldn't hurt.
Today I amused myself by thinking of Douglas Adams quotes to insert into daily life. "LIfe. Don't talk to me about life. It's too depressing."
It isn't too depressing, in fact, it feels pretty good.

And this is a really random post.
I deemed this week "Significant other week" because we got to meet two of our siblings' "others". Brother #5 brought a girl home for the weekend and took her to a house-raising party that we were at (think 7 brides for 7 brothers. Only there were three brothers there and a dad. And then another family of 8. Yeah. We have a great time). So I got to meet that lovely lady, and again at a family meeting we held at Taco Bell on Sunday, in which we discussed Christmas plans. She didn't discuss. She just watched us. Fortunately (?) only 2/3 of us were actually there, so maybe it was less intimidating. She didn't seem intimidated, anyway.
My sister got home on Sunday with her boy in tow. I met him for five seconds when I visited her last spring. He impressed me then, and he seems like a pretty great guy in 3 hours time too. Tomorrow we're all going to the apple orchard together and having Chinese at mom's in the evening. It should be great.
That's about all I have to say. I just felt like it was time to check in and write something, since it's been a while. Now you know. Life just ain't too exciting around here.