Remembering.

I had a discussion with my friend recently about how to remember the birthday of a lost baby. I didn't really have any good ideas about what to do in honor of that baby or how to make it memorable without being too emotional. I still don't, and to be honest, I'm sort of glad I'm not going to have to think about it too much this year. I'll be spending Grace's birthday in the hospital.
I prayed that I could have the baby before or after her birthday so that it wouldn't be the same day (the 29th). My c-section got scheduled for the 28th, so at least this baby will have her own birthday. But I'm not sure how to feel about it, just that little piece. I'll be so happy to have this baby and love her.
But I can't not remember. And I know I'll be remembering the one who would have been, as I hold the one who wouldn't have. Maybe that's a taste of the fulfillment Jesus brought to Isreal, because I can relate with the words of Isaiah: "...to bring beauty for ashes... the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness that they may be called trees of righteousness the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified." (Is. 61:3)