I just haven't had a lot of time this year over Christmas break to do things I wanted. (Aside from shopping and I usually hate shopping). I don't have a lot of time right now, but I will attempt to reflect on 2011 briefly, while the kids are napping before we take off for our New Year's party at a friend's house.
What a dumb number 2011 is. Seriously. I've never liked it. It's hard to say and boring to write, and I just don't like it. 2012 will be much more fun.
This year was long, and actually, just like the number itself, it was pretty boring. I did not write a newsletter because I don't think people care to hear about the boringness of the stay-at-home mom life. Thus, I wll not do it here either. If you realy care, I could probably tell you. But, let's move on to more interesting things.
We did travel every other weekend this summer. In May we went on a long vacation driving across the gulf, because I've never been there. Daniel was sick for part of it with food poisining, and we ended up being awake with puking kids for half of the nights. Other than that, it was really fun. We visited relatives in Texas, which was great. I've never spent a lot of time in Texas, but I enjoyed the 90 degree days when Iowa had only been up to 45 at that point.
In June we went to a wedding. In July we went to Montana (amazing, as always). In August my sister got married in Nashville, and in October my brother got married here in town.
I didn't make a lot of time for reading this year, because I found it more interesting and engaging to work on my own writing projects. But I did read a little. Also, I was recently lamenting the fact that we just can't make it out to the movies as often because it involves a babysitter now. But I saw some movies. So, I know you're all dying to know. Here is my list of bests from the year:
Movie Captain America by far. I love that he was a true hero and was willing to sacrifice his life for the good of others. I liked the story line and how it all fit together and didn't leave us with unanswered questions. Mostly I just liked the action and the time period.
Book Excluding comics, I think the best book I read was The Peacemakers by Jack Cavenaugh. That is mostly because I haven't read very many this year, and this made a good story. It's part of a series about a family, book one being about the Pilgrims, and every successive book follows the next generation with a military story. This one took place during the Vietnam war, and told about the son who was fighting over there, and the daughter, who joined the anti-war movement at her California college. I really enjoyed it.
Second place is The Last Song by Nicolas Sparks. And I'm almost ashamed to admit it... I don't usually read best sellers because I have this thing about drones and masses, but I needed something light to read over the summer and I was curious what made everyone like Sparksey so much. It's maybe a little trite story about a teenage summer romance, but I'm sort of a sucker for that kind of thing. I still haven't watched the movie. And I'm probably more of a Nicolas Sparks fan than I would EVER publicly share. So don't tell my secret, OK?
CD Steven Curtis Chapman wins again! We picked up Re:Creation a few months ago, an unplugged album with some of his hits and several new songs. LOVED it. It's sort of like a sequel to the last album, with a hopeful tone and cheerful music to match. I especially like the "Morning Has Broken" rendition he did with his sons.
TV Show Once again, this is not the most current information. We watched Human Target this year, and stupid Fox has cancelled it, so it will just be a two-season slamer. It's about an assassin turned bodyguard who picks up different clients and stays sort of under the radar with his work.
We also started watching The Middle which I think is a really funny show, probably because I relate with the middle-class, midwest family life and how it sort of satirize it by making her and her kids a little more weird and over the top than average. And number 3 is a Canadian show called Hiccups which is about a children's book author who has anger management problems, and her life coach. She is his only client, and he's actually pretty lame at his job. BUt that's what makes it funny. It's a little dry, but I enjoy that kind of humor.It's made by Brent Butt, who wrote Corner gas, another Canadian sit-com. Why do I like Canadian TV? Pathetic.
Bible Verse It's sort of hard to narrow it down to one verse. My small group went through a book on Acts earlier this year. Right as we started it, the pastor at church started a series that just finished. Then, half way through the year, my Bible study group began their intense look at the book. I guess maybe God wanted me to learn something from the book of Acts. And it's been amazing to see it in a new light. Acts 8:27-40 tells a story about Philip and this Ehtiopian Eunich. Philip is seeing amazing things happen in Jeruseleam with his friends, and all of a sudden God says "Go take this desert road away from here". So he does, and leaves all of the action where it is and walks into the middle of nothing. But there's a man in a chariot reading the scriptures, and when Philip sees what he's reading, he asks him, "Do you know what this means?" And the eunich says "how am I supposed to know this if there's no one to explain it?" So Philip rides with him and tells him all about Jesus.
I like the account, because it reminds me that 1) God doesn't always want us in the middle of action where great things are happening 2) Sometimes the place God wants me to be is in the middle of the desert with one single person, walking with them and showing them what God's word means 3) God cares about individuals, enough to send a single man out of his way to share with one single man.
I could write more, but I think I need to go and be productive. we have to wrap presents for the other side of the family today because tomorrow will be "Christmas" with the whole clan! Happy New Year. I hope your year is full of good things, of godly influiences, and glimpses of Him and His glory!
k
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Friday, December 30, 2011
We are Who We Are
We finished (survived) Christmas with my family. It was actually really fun. We've been hanging around, playing games and watching lots of movies. We go home at night with the kids and come back when we please, which has worked out pretty darn well this time around. It's nice to be able to get away. Because I love them, but sometimes... the bickering gets a little crazy.
There's this underlying amount of stress in my family right now. My dad's going to have heart surgery next week and it's kind of a big deal. So I think that everyone's a little bothered by that. And, we never all get along really great, because we're siblings and that's how it goes.
This year my brother and sister had spouses to help keep them in line, which was great. But sometimes I wonder what those new people think of our family. It's different for Daniel, because he's basically been around forever. My sister was like seven when he first met me, so he's watched them all grow up. And he was a teenager himself when he started hanging around.
These new in-laws haven't been around us very much. And I wonder if they're a little uneasy with all of the bickering and craziness that comes with all of us being together. I know they have families that have their own things. But the thing about my family is you know what's going on with relationships and feelings. You almost always do. Because we say what we feel. We show what we're thinking. Most of the time. We just are who we are with each other. And a lot of times that ends up being something everyone gets to see. I guess that's what makes a family what it is.
So hopefully no one got scared away this year. i for one enjoyed all of us being together and playing games and eating. And I can't wait until next time.
There's this underlying amount of stress in my family right now. My dad's going to have heart surgery next week and it's kind of a big deal. So I think that everyone's a little bothered by that. And, we never all get along really great, because we're siblings and that's how it goes.
This year my brother and sister had spouses to help keep them in line, which was great. But sometimes I wonder what those new people think of our family. It's different for Daniel, because he's basically been around forever. My sister was like seven when he first met me, so he's watched them all grow up. And he was a teenager himself when he started hanging around.
These new in-laws haven't been around us very much. And I wonder if they're a little uneasy with all of the bickering and craziness that comes with all of us being together. I know they have families that have their own things. But the thing about my family is you know what's going on with relationships and feelings. You almost always do. Because we say what we feel. We show what we're thinking. Most of the time. We just are who we are with each other. And a lot of times that ends up being something everyone gets to see. I guess that's what makes a family what it is.
So hopefully no one got scared away this year. i for one enjoyed all of us being together and playing games and eating. And I can't wait until next time.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Traditions
[Disclaimer: This post probably sounds pompus. I do not mean for it to. And I have no problem with people doing their own traditions, whatever they might be. so don't take this the wrong way. It's just about me and my preferences and opinions. And we all know I'm overly opinionated. Please don't be offended!]
There's always a lot of talk about traditions at this time of year. I'm just going to come out with it and say I don't like them.
I do sort of feel like a bad mom when people share these special meaningful things they do at Christmastime, because I don't do a lot of them. My family didn't do a lot of traditions, and I can't actually think of something we did every year, execept for getting a tree and decorating it. Otherwise it was always something different. And I'm OK with it.Realizing that many people hold traditions dearly, I can't really push my opinions off on people. but I've held this in all month, so I just have to get it off my chest. Don't feel like I'm attacking. This is just my personal preference. And honestly, it doesn't even always go the way I want to in this family, because i have a husband who thinks traditions are just IT.
Here's a list of things I don't want to become traditions for us:
1) Caroling. Humiliating.
2) Baking cookies. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, that's what the store is for.
3) Sitting around the Christmastree and reading the Christmas story. I think the kids ought to hear it before Christmas, or else it's too late to distract them from all of the presents.
4) Decorations. I like decorating, but I'm just as happy not to. And I'm OK with switching them out all the time.
5) Presents. I think that we might have some years where we don't do the classic shop around for Christmas and make lists and things. Some year maybe we'll just go on a trip together, or maybe we'll make all of our presents. Or maybe we'll only give presents away and not get any. I don't feel like it's essential to celebrating.
6) Family newsletter. Let's be honest. Sometimes, there just isn't anything interesting to share.
7) Music. AUUUUGH. If you know me much, you know I'm just not a fan of the same old songs that get sung every year. Certain carols, I don't mind hearing once or twice or singing in church. But. I do not want to hear yet another rendition of the SAME song.
8) Birthday party for Jesus. Not to be a jerk or downplay what other families do. We don't call it a birthday because to me it seems trivial. We haven't quite hashed that all out, but I don't like the phrase "birthday". Because Jesus existed in all of eternity. His coming to earth, becoming a person, wasn't so small as a birthday. The entire universe hinged on that moment in time when Jesus became a man. For kids a birthday is sort of an egocentric day in which they're spoiled and get everything they want. Jesus's coming was the opposite. He gave up all of the things that He had and came into the world in a barn with animals. I don't want my kids to mistake His sacrifice for a party. And maybe kids don't understand all of the theology completely, but I think that they get more than we give them credit for.
Now here are some things that I DO want to be part of every Christmas.
1) Snow. (even though I don't get a lot of say in this).
2) Family. Because I love them.
3) lights. I enjoy looking at tacky Christmas lights displayed in town. It's sort of fun. Right now the kids love it too.
4) Music. I'm talking the good kind. Real music. New words, new melodies, timeless truths put to art.
5) Giving. There are so many opportunities that only come at Christmastime. So we take advantage of them.
6) Jesus. Even though we aren't going to make a birthday cake or hide the baby Jesus from the manger scene or open a present for him or anything like that, I want to take time to remember, to reflect on what it means that God became a man. That now he relates with us and understands temptation and fear and pain and suffering. I want to focus on "Immanuel" every year and what "God with us" truly means.He's the reason the angels said "Peace on Earth, Good will to everyone!"
So. That's that. What traditions do you love to do? What ones do you hate? (Hopefully you don't hate me now for undoing traditions!)
There's always a lot of talk about traditions at this time of year. I'm just going to come out with it and say I don't like them.
I do sort of feel like a bad mom when people share these special meaningful things they do at Christmastime, because I don't do a lot of them. My family didn't do a lot of traditions, and I can't actually think of something we did every year, execept for getting a tree and decorating it. Otherwise it was always something different. And I'm OK with it.Realizing that many people hold traditions dearly, I can't really push my opinions off on people. but I've held this in all month, so I just have to get it off my chest. Don't feel like I'm attacking. This is just my personal preference. And honestly, it doesn't even always go the way I want to in this family, because i have a husband who thinks traditions are just IT.
Here's a list of things I don't want to become traditions for us:
1) Caroling. Humiliating.
2) Baking cookies. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, that's what the store is for.
3) Sitting around the Christmastree and reading the Christmas story. I think the kids ought to hear it before Christmas, or else it's too late to distract them from all of the presents.
4) Decorations. I like decorating, but I'm just as happy not to. And I'm OK with switching them out all the time.
5) Presents. I think that we might have some years where we don't do the classic shop around for Christmas and make lists and things. Some year maybe we'll just go on a trip together, or maybe we'll make all of our presents. Or maybe we'll only give presents away and not get any. I don't feel like it's essential to celebrating.
6) Family newsletter. Let's be honest. Sometimes, there just isn't anything interesting to share.
7) Music. AUUUUGH. If you know me much, you know I'm just not a fan of the same old songs that get sung every year. Certain carols, I don't mind hearing once or twice or singing in church. But. I do not want to hear yet another rendition of the SAME song.
8) Birthday party for Jesus. Not to be a jerk or downplay what other families do. We don't call it a birthday because to me it seems trivial. We haven't quite hashed that all out, but I don't like the phrase "birthday". Because Jesus existed in all of eternity. His coming to earth, becoming a person, wasn't so small as a birthday. The entire universe hinged on that moment in time when Jesus became a man. For kids a birthday is sort of an egocentric day in which they're spoiled and get everything they want. Jesus's coming was the opposite. He gave up all of the things that He had and came into the world in a barn with animals. I don't want my kids to mistake His sacrifice for a party. And maybe kids don't understand all of the theology completely, but I think that they get more than we give them credit for.
Now here are some things that I DO want to be part of every Christmas.
1) Snow. (even though I don't get a lot of say in this).
2) Family. Because I love them.
3) lights. I enjoy looking at tacky Christmas lights displayed in town. It's sort of fun. Right now the kids love it too.
4) Music. I'm talking the good kind. Real music. New words, new melodies, timeless truths put to art.
5) Giving. There are so many opportunities that only come at Christmastime. So we take advantage of them.
6) Jesus. Even though we aren't going to make a birthday cake or hide the baby Jesus from the manger scene or open a present for him or anything like that, I want to take time to remember, to reflect on what it means that God became a man. That now he relates with us and understands temptation and fear and pain and suffering. I want to focus on "Immanuel" every year and what "God with us" truly means.He's the reason the angels said "Peace on Earth, Good will to everyone!"
So. That's that. What traditions do you love to do? What ones do you hate? (Hopefully you don't hate me now for undoing traditions!)
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
The Weight of the [Lesser] World
Some days I end the night with a heavy weight resting on me, knowing that I can't save the universe. That I can't even start. It bothers me and it irritates me and occasionally motivates me to action. But what bothers me the most is that most of the time, I just don't think about all of the broken people. I don't hurt for them much and I try my best not to think about it.
Tonight we went on a little hike down to a nearby town to deliver gifts to the family of an incracarated father through the Angel Tree program.
I hurt. They lived in a little trailer in the middle of nothing. Everything was run down and tired-looking, even their little white Christmas tree with an angel on top who was heavier than the whole tree.
There were four boys there with sad solemn faces who didn't talk a whole lot. And a mom who did talk a whole lot. And I got the feeling she appreciated the hand-out.
I didn't do a good job at listening to the Holy Spirit. I should have said more than I did. And now I'm thinking back, seeing all of the opportunities I missed to just say what I believe is the only way to really change their circumstances. They needed to know about Jesus. I think they wanted to know about Jesus. And I think they will find more out. But I wish I'd just said more.
I hope that they come to church for Christmas like we invited them to. I hope that I can find a church that is close enough for them to want to go to.
But i hope that next time, I say more than I did.
Because the world is so dark and broken and tired, like their little house. And the light that we have should be brighter than just some presents at Christmas.
Tonight we went on a little hike down to a nearby town to deliver gifts to the family of an incracarated father through the Angel Tree program.
I hurt. They lived in a little trailer in the middle of nothing. Everything was run down and tired-looking, even their little white Christmas tree with an angel on top who was heavier than the whole tree.
There were four boys there with sad solemn faces who didn't talk a whole lot. And a mom who did talk a whole lot. And I got the feeling she appreciated the hand-out.
I didn't do a good job at listening to the Holy Spirit. I should have said more than I did. And now I'm thinking back, seeing all of the opportunities I missed to just say what I believe is the only way to really change their circumstances. They needed to know about Jesus. I think they wanted to know about Jesus. And I think they will find more out. But I wish I'd just said more.
I hope that they come to church for Christmas like we invited them to. I hope that I can find a church that is close enough for them to want to go to.
But i hope that next time, I say more than I did.
Because the world is so dark and broken and tired, like their little house. And the light that we have should be brighter than just some presents at Christmas.
Tuesday, December 06, 2011
Writing
More boring stuff about my writing.
I started a series back in May. I wasn't planning for it to be one, but I couldn't just leave it where it ended. I never can. I seriously never can.
Anyway. It started as a dream I had, and then I just went to work writing it. It turned out to be a pretty cool story.
The next one I started about two months ago. It's actually a spin-off because the main character from the first one becomes the new main character's roommate in the second one. So we still get to be updated about her life, but the story's about the roommate this time.
I really love it.
I loved the first one and I wrote it all in record time. This one was a little more of a labor of love, but I still wrote it pretty quickly. And I really really like how it turned out. It'll need editing. Lots of editing. But it's a story about an artist in Chicago, and I guess it just turned out even better than I thought it would. It went nothing like I planned, and that was OK too.
Now, though, now that I'm finished, I have this let down feeling. Am I really finished with it? I sort of want to write more. And yet it's just complete and I don't have to write anything else. I'm planning the third one, which will be another spinoff with another girl. But I"m still not quite sure who I want to use as the main character and what significant thing she'll do.
I don't want to be done writing this one. Usually I feel a sense of accomplishment and peace. But I don't this time. Maybe it's because I sort of want her life. Or maybe I just want to keep writing. Becuase the end of that one left a lot of open doors.
Whatever.
This is why I need more writer friends. Because it doesn't make a lot of sense to people who don't write stories. Most of the writer-friends I've had have moved on and we talk sometimes but not on a regular basis. And I just want someone who gets it. Sometimes. Not someone who will listen to the story (which I also love talking about), but someone who knows what it feels like to type out that last word and close the document that's been up on your computer for the last however-long. Someone who misses their characters and puts herself to sleep planning the rest of the story.
Maybe some day I'll be famous and I'll run in circles with other people who write novels for a living. I don't know. For now, I just sit around and type a lot.
I started a series back in May. I wasn't planning for it to be one, but I couldn't just leave it where it ended. I never can. I seriously never can.
Anyway. It started as a dream I had, and then I just went to work writing it. It turned out to be a pretty cool story.
The next one I started about two months ago. It's actually a spin-off because the main character from the first one becomes the new main character's roommate in the second one. So we still get to be updated about her life, but the story's about the roommate this time.
I really love it.
I loved the first one and I wrote it all in record time. This one was a little more of a labor of love, but I still wrote it pretty quickly. And I really really like how it turned out. It'll need editing. Lots of editing. But it's a story about an artist in Chicago, and I guess it just turned out even better than I thought it would. It went nothing like I planned, and that was OK too.
Now, though, now that I'm finished, I have this let down feeling. Am I really finished with it? I sort of want to write more. And yet it's just complete and I don't have to write anything else. I'm planning the third one, which will be another spinoff with another girl. But I"m still not quite sure who I want to use as the main character and what significant thing she'll do.
I don't want to be done writing this one. Usually I feel a sense of accomplishment and peace. But I don't this time. Maybe it's because I sort of want her life. Or maybe I just want to keep writing. Becuase the end of that one left a lot of open doors.
Whatever.
This is why I need more writer friends. Because it doesn't make a lot of sense to people who don't write stories. Most of the writer-friends I've had have moved on and we talk sometimes but not on a regular basis. And I just want someone who gets it. Sometimes. Not someone who will listen to the story (which I also love talking about), but someone who knows what it feels like to type out that last word and close the document that's been up on your computer for the last however-long. Someone who misses their characters and puts herself to sleep planning the rest of the story.
Maybe some day I'll be famous and I'll run in circles with other people who write novels for a living. I don't know. For now, I just sit around and type a lot.
Thursday, December 01, 2011
CHOCOLATE
I'm pretty sure there isn't enough chocolate in the world to make me feel better today.
I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I don't want to do anything. everything and everyone annoys me. Although, in all seriousness, I think anyone would be annoyed with the Wal-Mart worker who insisted on walking in the middle of the parking lot aisle, and then turned around and gave me a dirty look for waiting behind him. He was wide. There was not enough room for my car to get by and I think it would have been more rude to pass him anyway.
Then he took three carts from the cart corral and left the rest of them there. I don't even know why he came out there.
Anyway. That was a tangent. This whole post is a tangent because I'm in a bad mood and I just feel like venting a little bit. Sort of reminds me of high school.
I miss my friend Twan. We used to write each other notes and pass them between classes, and that was my opportunity to vent about stupid teachers. Then we eventually made notebooks for ourselves that we could write all of our peeves and annoyances down in. It's actually kind of helpful. Maybe not. Maybe it just made us focus on bad things more.
I'm pretty sure my bad mood is because I really wanted to be pregnant, and I'm not. So while I'm hormonal anyway, it just makes it worse.
Maybe it's Christmas time that puts me in a bad mood. I don't like it when everyone is happy just becuase it's Christmas. Seriously. It doesn't make sense to me. That isn't a good enough reason. If you want to be hapy and content, that's fine. But it shouldn't just be because people are ringing bells and putting lights up.
I'm grouchy. Call me the Grinch. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I don't want to do anything. everything and everyone annoys me. Although, in all seriousness, I think anyone would be annoyed with the Wal-Mart worker who insisted on walking in the middle of the parking lot aisle, and then turned around and gave me a dirty look for waiting behind him. He was wide. There was not enough room for my car to get by and I think it would have been more rude to pass him anyway.
Then he took three carts from the cart corral and left the rest of them there. I don't even know why he came out there.
Anyway. That was a tangent. This whole post is a tangent because I'm in a bad mood and I just feel like venting a little bit. Sort of reminds me of high school.
I miss my friend Twan. We used to write each other notes and pass them between classes, and that was my opportunity to vent about stupid teachers. Then we eventually made notebooks for ourselves that we could write all of our peeves and annoyances down in. It's actually kind of helpful. Maybe not. Maybe it just made us focus on bad things more.
I'm pretty sure my bad mood is because I really wanted to be pregnant, and I'm not. So while I'm hormonal anyway, it just makes it worse.
Maybe it's Christmas time that puts me in a bad mood. I don't like it when everyone is happy just becuase it's Christmas. Seriously. It doesn't make sense to me. That isn't a good enough reason. If you want to be hapy and content, that's fine. But it shouldn't just be because people are ringing bells and putting lights up.
I'm grouchy. Call me the Grinch. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
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