Adding to The Beauty

"Sit with me and tell me once again/of the story that's been told us/of the power that will hold us/of the beauty/of the beauty. Why it matters.

Sit with me until I understand/why our thinking/and creating/and our efforts of mirrating/of the beauty, of th ebeauty/ why it matters."

~ sara Groves "Why it Matters" 2005




The first time I heard this song (which you should all download if you enjoy good music with a fabulous message), I was captured by it. Musically, it drew me in. Lyrically, I was intrigued. I listened to it six times. I pulled out the liner notes and read the lyrics carfully. It's a song about art, and why, out of all the things we do in life, it matters.

I'm not a fantastic artist, nor will I ever claim to be. but I love art. I love the beauty it creates, the beauty it reveals, and the power that draws you in, calling you closer and closer to the Creator. I love being able to use the finite abilities I have to create. Obviously for those of you who know me, I spend most of my creative energy creating stories and elaborate worlds in which my characters exsist. BUt, as I've said before in previous ways, I'm discovering that being an artist is more than enjoying art, or being able to create it. A Christian artist has a call--to emphasize and add to the beauty of God. I'm understanding that in new ways as I listen to artists I respect elaborate on their theories about it, and as God begins to show me that creativity is inborn and useful, because He uses it in a way that no spoken word or piece of theology can be used. As my writing curriculum states: "[It] create[s] a world filled with light and life. a world that mirros and interprets for our readers God's creation, that explains and organizes meaning, insight, and emotion--that points the way." It speaks to a part of our soul that is unreachable by intellect and rationale and logic. It moves beyond the tendancy to analyze and disect, and pulls out the parts of us that are daily shoved aside and forced to hide, the parts of us that were created in God's image.

In orther words, it matters.

Ministry Wear

I'm wondering today, in the wake of a weekend retreat with eight teens, what elements are necessary in a person of ministry to be effective. Does one need to have a completely wholesome attitude at all times? Do you have to want to do it all the time, or is there a place for duty and commitment to play its part? I ask this becuase, lately I haven't really felt like doing much of anything. I'm involved in two ministries right now. Younglife and childcare at church. To be honest, neither one of them is something I spend the week looking forward to. Childcare is OK, but I spend a lot of time with kids, and something about church kids kind of annoys me (that's another subject all together). Young Life has been good up until now, but lately I've been wondering what my position there should be. I am not an attractive personality. I'm easily annoyed, especially when it invovles respect or lack thereof. I hate the music they listen to, and on top of that I don't think that my "work" is effective or useful. I wonder if I'm not trying hard enough or doing enough, but the idea of doing more exhausts me.
And then there's the whole question of my motives. It's so easy, when working with "at risk" teens, to want to solve their social, economic and spiritual problems, but really they just need to know Christ. But once they know HIm, I feel like they get left hanging. And that's where they want to be. I haven't seen a thirst for knowing Him better in any of the girls. I haven't noticed a desire to change their lives. It's like they see the leaders' lives, and they want them, but they can't conclude that if they don't make some changes, their life is headed the same way their parents' was... they're used to things. And breaking a cycle or changing a lifestyle is not something anyone wants to do because of the work involved. And it seems like no matter what I say, they aren't realizing that. (I've come to this revelation after the retreat).
I don't know where the answers are. People can sit around and analyze their ministries and reorganize and try new spins, but I haven't seen that doing a lto of good. And this emerging church stuff seems to only encourage the lifestyle that is the very barrier we're trying to break down. I guess I'm just frustrated. That the work and prayer and planning doesn't amount to anything at the end of the day. Probably tomorrow I'll feel beter about it. I'm sure some prayer and Bible-searching will take care of it all.